There is an epidemic starting around the world. Its been contained in the past, but it is breaking free and, quite frankly, it is starting to scare the bajeebus out of me. Be forewarned, because what I am about to tell you may shock and scare you. It may make you rethink having children. If you do have children, it may make you want to push them back into the womb. Here it goes…
More and more people are calling each other by names such as “Broseph” and “Brah”.
I know, it sends chills down your spine. But I am here to try to being to right this wrong. Unless you are a high school jock, or in some form of fraternity, you should NOT be allowed to use such terms or any variations. “Bro-dawg”, “Bro-dge”, “Broster”, all of those should be banned. There should be laws passed to punish those that think they are cooler for using such words.
There is nothing more disheartening then hearing a middle aged man call out to his middle aged friend, “Hey Brosiah.”
Please, join me in this fight. Please help me end such obnoxiousness. This is only one of the first steps in de-stupefying the world. All it takes is a fist. If you hear someone say any variations of the words listed above, please punch them and proclaim “You’re not cool!”
Thank you.
-Chad
Make the world a better place, punch brosephs in the face.
P.S. My word processor tries to auto-correct brosephs into brose pHs. I don’t know why, but I take it as a sign that even the computer is smart enough to know those people are wrong.
1 comments:
My boss once called me "brohan." It surprised me so much that I asked him to repeat himself. When he called me "brohan" a second time, I blacked out. When I came to, I was in an alley in Mérida, with dried blood on my hands and the taste of pulque on my lips.
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